How to deal with the emotional aspects of a personal debt problem

by admin on 16 May 2007

Often a debt problem is a symptom of a larger life crisis. That crisis could have its origins in events beyond one’s control, events such as a redundancy or a relationship break-up. We all develop strategies and techniques for handling such emotional turmoil. I would like to offer some tips here that I have found useful and effective for handling the emotional aspects of a debt crisis.

IMPORTANT:

With a debt situation you may be prone to depression. If you think you have any serious issues you should consult with your doctor/GP and get professional advice and/or counseling.

1. Get Professional Help if necessary
If you think that life’s crises are mounting up and pushing you over the edge, please get immediate help with these and any other major problems. At the minimum please consult with your GP and/or a counselor

2. Talk to someone anonymously
If you just want someone to talk to and you would like to do so anonymously then try calling the Samaritans on 08457 90 90 90

3. Acknowledge you have a problem
Acknowledge truthfully the extent of your debt crisis and any other personal problems that underlie it. Fully face up to your problem by taking charge of your emotions and mental state. Having a clear cool head will help you think clearly and make the best decisions.

4. Tell your loved ones about your debt problem
This decision has to be made by you yourself. However, I firmly believe honesty is the best policy, keeping facts from your loved ones is difficult and places an additional stressful burden on you. Besides, there is a good chance that they’ll find out the truth themselves later anyway.

5. Contain your problem. Contain the effects on your relationship
Successful people have been known to be able to contain problems. That means that a failure in one area of their life does not inhibit them in another area. Contain your problem. Adjust your attitude. Insist that your debt problem not interfere with your relationships and your career. Get a sense of perspective, however nasty the problem is, it is not the end. You are going to recover from this problem. You are going to bounce back.

6. Anxious? Observe your breathing
A great way to relieve periodic bouts of anxiety is via your breathing. Rather than try to change how you breathe start by just watching it. I find this approach far more effective than any mechanical breathing techniques. Acting as a disinterested observer of your breathing will result in your breathing changing by itself into a slower, deeper and a more rhythmic pattern.

7. Keep your self talk up beat
Positive self talk – telling yourself repeatedly that you are going to defeat the problem will help greatly. Instead of saying inside “I’ll never get out of this debt problem” repeat positive affirmations in a strong authoritative tone such as “I’m going to act now and defeat my debt problem.”

8. Practise Maintaining your mental poise, equanimity
There are lots of ways to impede unwanted strong emotional reactions and return to a state of mental poise and calmness. You can do so via breathing techniques, prayer or meditation or by absorbing yourself 100% in some activity. If thoughts about your situation start to rise up in your mind just acknowledge them and return your attention to the activity.

9. Read inspirational examples of people who overcame great diversity
No matter how deep you consider your crises, however, you can not only completely defeat all your problems and come out in top but you can be even more successful than ever before. History is littered with examples of the most amazing comebacks from the most adverse of circumstances. Consider Nelson Mandela, for example, who was imprisoned for 27 years only to become president of South Africa in 1994.

10. Take action
You’ve already demonstrated your ability to take action by visiting this blog. You might like to now take the next step: getting a copy of my report or gathering more information about your situation.

The surest way to peace of mind is by taking action. Whatever you decide to do next, do not sit on your problem. Hit it and hit it hard! Take action immediately! However, do not jump at the very first solution that presents itself without having first carefully analysed all the solutions that are available to you. You can solve your problem and make the best decision for you and your families’ financial future – do it today!

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